King Kaufman

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Archive for the ‘Humor’ tag

J-Lo, dude: Your career

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AP headline: “Marc Anthony sings with wife at inaugural ball”

Written by King Kaufman

January 21st, 2009 at 6:10 am

Posted in Not sports

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How super are the Arizona Cardinals?

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New Salon column.

A bit late in the game to post it, but I had a busy day. You? My new job is being the guy in charge of Salon’s cover, a responsibility so awesome I often wear pants when on the clock. Today was kind of a 10-hour sprint, with constant updates from our crack team of reporters and commentators.

And hang on, I’ve been joking around so that sounds like a joke about the crack team. Not a joke. Our writers are really good.

So it would have been enough a crazy day, but I had to do it with a very bored 5-year-old hanging around. Thank you, San Francisco Unified School District, for randomly abdicating your responsibility of educating my kid on one of my busiest work days of the decade. Thanks for that. I’m sure the staff is much more developed now than it was on Monday. Whatever that means. I don’t know what it means but I think beer is involved.

Buster was actually a champ, only demonstrating stir-crazy, cabin-fever like behavior on a couple of occasions. I did get a chance to take him out to lunch at Starvin Marvin’s on Geneva, where we had really good cheeseburgers — and watched the inauguration parade.

Every once in a while Buster would walk into the room, see Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer on the TV and say something like, “Man, why are those guys still talking?”

A nation was wondering about that right along with you, son.

Written by King Kaufman

January 20th, 2009 at 8:54 pm

Posted in Football, Not sports

Tagged with , ,

Sure they didn’t mean White House?

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The U.K. Sun reports that singer Amy Winehouse is among prominent Jews who have been targeted by terrorists in the wake of Israel’s invasion of Gaza. British intelligence says the discussion of attacks on an Islamic-extremist Web site should be taken seriously, the Sun reports.

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has responded by requiring Americans to take off their shoes before listening to “Back to Black.”

Written by King Kaufman

January 9th, 2009 at 10:30 am

Posted in Not sports

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